Door Repair Kai, Part Two


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Episode 41 — Door Repair Kai, Part Two



     "What time is it?"
     "Eight."
     "So what's on?"
     "There's Seinfeld . . . and Door Repair Guy."
     "Seinfeld."
     Click.
     "So I'm in the bookstore and I see this book, _Great
Religions of the World_, and I'm thinking to myself, who is this
book for?  Who did they have in mind when they printed this book? 
Religious people?  Well, I guess the atheists are out.  But
anyone who's religious is going to hate nine-tenths of the book!" 
Pretends to flip pages.  "Oh, yes, I like that.  That's good. 
That's very true.  Oh!  Oh, no!  Heresy!  Her-e-s-yyy!!!
     "I'll tell you who thinks up books like _Great Religions of
the World_.  Editors.  It's like some kind of weird one-up-
manship with them.  'Okay, I've done Judith Krantz.  Done Jackie
Collins.  What's left in my career?  I know.  The Word of God!'" 
     Ber berpa-der-ber.  Spuck spuck spucka-duck.
     "Hm, maybe Door Repair Guy."
     Click/wonderment/annex-for-creative-arts/star-trek-door-repair-guy/stdrg-s03 /wonderment/annex-for-creative-arts/star-trek-door-repair-guy/stdrg-s03 on screen!"
     Shot of the Wormhole closing and a Jem'Hadar vessel shooting
past the camera's point of view.
     Dax: "It's heading for Bajor."
     Sisko: "Red alert.  Chief, keep a sensor lock on that ship. 
Dax, get me Starfleet Command.  Major Kira, alert the Bajoran
Defense Force there's a Jem'Hadar vessel on their way."
     View of the Jem'Hadar ship entering Bajoran orbit.  It turns
suddenly and accelerates away, cloaking as it departs.
     The Bajoran surface.  Two figures appear in a Dominion
transporter effect.  Both are dressed in Vedeks' robes which
immediately begin to flap and blow in the stormy weather.  Door
Repair Guy looks up.
     "I hope these things are waterproof."
     The Swedish woman from the last episode looks up and
wrinkles her nose into the rain.  It stays wrinkled.
     "This weather is fortuitous.  It suits the prophecy.  This
way."
     They start off toward the silhouette of a temple on a nearby
hill.  They pass along rain-swept roads into a village build on
the lower slopes of the hill.  Two men are in the street,
fistfighting.
     "Kai Winn!"
     "Kai Opaka!"
     The passing Vedeks attract the attention of the circle of
villagers surrounding the fight.  The bystanders follow the robed
figures with their eyes, and then several drift away from the
crowd and start up the hill in pursuit.  They come to the steps
of the temple to see one Vedek holding a poster up against the
temple door while the other nails it to the wooden door panel
with resounding hammer blows.  The Vedeks are speaking, but the
wet gusts of wind tear at their sentences and only the words
"staple gun" are discerned.  The Vedeks depart and the villagers
crowd up to read the proclamation.
     "It's a list.  Look, ninety-five things."
     "What are they?  Commandments?"
     "Laws of some kind.  Read here.  '19: A door is either open
or shut.'  And it's true."
     "And this.  '41: Knock, and the door shall be opened.'"
     "It makes you think."  
     "How about this one?  '93: Don't slam the screen door!'"
     "How many times have I heard that?"
     "Truly these are words of wonder."
     "Let's follow them."
     "Yes!"
     "Yes, let's follow them!"
     Several start off after the Vedeks.
     Someone on the steps: "Figuratively!"
     One of the ones who started away, returning: "Literally!"
     A fistfight breaks out.


     An icy asteroid rolls by, spewing cometary material.
     "Crawlspace.  The final frontier.  These are the voyages of
The Door Repair Guy.  His mission: to install and maintain
proximity-activated entranceways, to stake out new rooms and new
service conduits -- to boldly go where no one with a pass key has
gone before."
     Deep Space Nine space station drifts into view.  A runabout
shoots past, revealing the words:


               Star Trek: Door Repair Guy


                         Starring

                    Door Repair Guy as
                         Himself

                    Avery Brooks as
                         Commander Sisko

                    Rene Auberjonois as
                         Odo

                    Siddig El Fadil as
                         Doctor Bashir

                    Terry Farrell as
                         Lieutenant Dax

                    Colm Meany as
                         Chief O'Brien

                    Armin Shimerman as
                         Quark

                    Cirroc Lofton as
                         Jake Sisko

                    Nana Visitor as
                         Major Kira

                    Louise Fletcher as
                         Kai Winn

                    Kenneth Marshall as
                         Eddington


[Commercial: Molson Dry
     "No matter where you go, you gotta go with your beer gut."]


     Sisko's office.  He's glaring out the window.  The door
chimes.
     "Come."
     He swivels.  It's Kai Winn.
     "Emissary.  Is it the intention of the Federation to
overturn Bajoran society entirely and replace it with the
government of your door repairman?" 
     "Of course not, Kai Winn.  We have search parties out right
now trying to bring him in."
     "Please allow me to say, Emissary, that I never thought that
when we expelled the Cardassian oppressors and invited the
Federation in their place that the Federation would mock and
defame us as you have done with this idiotic anti-Kai."
     "You're the one who made him a saint!  I could have told
you!  Something like this was bound to come of it!"
     "You had prior knowledge?  The Prophets informed you?  How
is it you chose to hide the Prophecy from the only religious
authorities qualified to interpret it properly?"
     "There was no Prophecy!  A child could have seen that that
man is trouble!"
     "Then why did you request his transfer to this station?"
     "Because Cmdr William Riker doctored the man's resume so
effectively that five space stations were outbidding one another
for his services.  I lost three runabouts!"
     "Emissary, three runabouts are a small price compared to
what we stand to lose on Bajor!"
     "What *you* stand to lose!"
     "I wonder what you stand to gain if the Dominion's pretender
is allowed to become Kai!"
     "Nothing at all.  In fact, it'll probably be the end of my
career!"
     "Then what are you going to do about it?"
     "I'm going down there myself right now, and I'm not coming
back until I have that door repairman in irons!"
     "Then go!"
     "I'm going!"
     He goes.


[Commercial: Ethan Phillips for Golden Honey Shreddies]     


     View of the runabout Cuyahoga entering Bajoran orbit.  Major
Kira turns from the Tactical display.
     "Reports have it that a pair of unfamiliar Vedeks have shown
up in the vicinity of Topu Sar, an out-of-the-way farming
district with strong anti-government sentiments.  The people
there have a reputation for being pretty hardnosed.  There's a
popular legend that the inhabitants of Topu Sar all sleep with
mallets under their pillows."
     Bashir: "Whatever for?"
     Kira: "No good reason."
     O'Brien: "Bloody charming."
     Dax: "I've fed Door Repair Guy's cybernetic implant
schematics into the tricorders.  I suggest we beam down in two
teams and approach the main settlement from opposite sides."
     Kira: "Good.  You and Dr Bashir take the west side.  Chief,
you and I will approach from the east.  Remember, we're dealing
with a personal transporter, probably a shapeshifter, and some
pretty cantankerous settlers."
     The Bajoran surface.  The rain is coming down.  A pair of
Federation transporter effects appear and turn into Chief O'Brien
and Major Kira.
     O'Brien: "Bloody heck!  It's pouring!"
     Kira (putting up her hood): "I told you to bring a
raincoat."
     O'Brien: "I'm in Starfleet.  We don't have them." 
     He hunches and looks up into the clouds.
     "Can't even turn up me blasted collar!"
     "Sometimes I just don't get Starfleet.  Imagine not issuing
rain gear."
     "It's because the Federation only colonizes the planets most
like southern California.  That's why they're called Class M
planets.  M for Malibu." 
     Kira: "I never knew that.  There's the village over there. 
Come on, we'll find some kind of shelter there."
     They hurry off.
     A grassy hill several miles away.  Two figures materialize. 
They open umbrellas and begin to take tricorder readings.  Dax
starts off in a lateral direction.
     Bashir: "Where are you going?  According to these readings
he's this way."
     Dax: "Julian, a second reading from another vantage point
will allow us to triangulate in on him in no time.  Besides, if
we walk toward him from this location we'll have to hold the
umbrellas in front of our faces the whole way."
     Bashir: "You've a point there."
     They head off together.
     Dax: "Good idea to replicate the umbrellas."
     Bashir: "I don't have this English accent for nothing, you
know."
     A Bajoran blacksmith's shop.  The rain is heard beating on
the roof.  The blacksmith holds a piece of metal in the fire with
a pair of tongs, and pumps the bellows with the other hand.  Blue
fire curls and snaps around the glowing metal piece.
     The door pushes open and a streaming O'Brien enters,
followed by the hooded Major Kira.
     Blacksmith: "Can I help you?"
     Kira: "We just wanted in from the rain."
     "Be my guest.  Can I interest you in some horseshoes?"
     O'Brien: "No, thanks all the same.  But if you have a yellow
slicker you'd make me a very happy man."
     "Does this look like a fishing boat?"
     Kira: "Come on.  Don't you have anything?"
     Blacksmith: "There's a green garbage bag on the table."
     Kira: "Oh!  That'll do!"
     O'Brien: "A green garbage bag?"
     "Sure.  We used them all the time in the Resistance. 
They're light, portable, and available anywhere.  You cut out
three holes for your head and arms and away you go."
     "A green garbage bag."
     Blacksmith: "So you were in the Resistance?"
     She puts out her hand.
     "Major Kira Nerys.  This is Chief O'Brien.  We're from Deep
Space Nine."
     "Ratex Na, blacksmith."
     "Mr Ratex, we're looking for somebody who may have turned up
in your village in the past day."
     "I assume you mean the Doorkeeper?"
     "Is that what they're calling him?"
     "If by 'They' you mean the Prophecies."
     "Please forgive my presumption, but surely you can't believe
this guy's appearance is the fulfillment of Prophecy?"
     "I can read as well as the next man.  We may be simple
people here, Major, but we know our Prophecies.  What the
Doorkeeper says sounds true to me."
     "What has he been saying?"
     "A lot of practical down-to-Bajor things about the Celestial
Temple."
     "Like what?"
     "Like how it's more than just an off-ramp to the Gamma
Quadrant.  Like how Kai Opaka would want us to spend less time
worrying about the Dominion and the Federation and more time
learning what we can from the Prophets to whom we are in such
close proximity."
     Kira and O'Brien exchange glances at the word "proximity".
     "He says that the role of the Bajorans is like that of the
young lad who opened up the city gates and found a new world."
     "He says all this?"
     "Well, he and the other one.  I guess he sticks more to the
door comparisons and she handles the galacticopolitical
ramifications."
     "Do you realize that the other one is an agent of the
Dominion?"
     "Says you.  She looks more like a northerner to me."
     "Where can we find them?"
     "The Doorkeeper will address the people in the Temple this
evening at 20:00."
     Kira turns her back and mutters to O'Brien: "We've got to
alert the others."  She taps her commbadge.  "Kira to Bashir."
     *fzzt*
     "Kira to Away Team Beta.  Do you read me?"
     *fzzt*
     "O'Brien to Cuyahoga."
     *fzzt*
     "O'Brien to anybody."
     *fzzt*
     "Rainwater must have got into the commbadges."
     "Well, come on, let's go.  If we can't contact anyone we can
at least attend the meeting tonight.  Get your garbage bag on."
     O'Brien looks at it.  She sees his reluctance and pulls open
the door to admit the sound of the continuing downpour.  He puts
on the green garbage bag and they go.
     The blacksmith looks at the doorhandle-shaped piece of metal
in his tongs, decides it could use more temperature, thrusts it
back into the fire and pumps the bellows.


[Commercial: Whoopi Goldberg for MCI, and Systemhouse too]


     Quark's.  Garak steps in from the Promenade, glances this
way and that, comes over to the bar, takes a seat and waits
smiling with one finger raised as the proprietor loads a table-
server's tray with drinks and the table-server's ear with
instructions designed to get the free-spending crowd of traders
across the room to spend even more freely.  The waiter scurries
away with his load, stops and turns back at a last contradictory
afterthought from Quark, bows sharply and hurries away again in
case more advice is forthcoming.  Quark sighs, shakes his head at
the burden of having to do all the thinking himself, whisks the
counter with a towel, and turns to Garak, who sits up even
straighter and smiles with even greater intensity.
     "Yes?  How can I help you?"
     "I wonder if you know what I want?"
     "Wouldn't it be easier if you just told me?"
     "Really, Mr Quark, you have ears, don't you?"
     "So I've been told."
     "What do they tell you?"
     "Many things that don't bear repeating."
     "I can imagine.  And one or two that don't bear not
repeating I'll wager."
     "Wager?"
     "If I were a betting man, which I'm not, if sure I'd lay
good money on you knowing things no one else on this station
knows."
     "You flatter me.  But I must admit it: I do.  But it's not
enough just to overhear.  You have to have a certain . . ."
     "Arithmetical ability?"
     "Yes.  It's remarkable how many people -- Ferengi even --
can't add --"
     "Two and two?"
     "Precisely.  Now a betting man -- which I am -- as long as I
am the house -- would say that you're a man who's done a little
subtraction and division in his time."
     "Oh, I am having fun!"
     "And that you already have most of the numbers, and the
answer, and only lack the equation."
     "Your analytical abilities astonish me!  That's absolutely
right!  Can you guess what they are?"
     Quark leans back and caresses a lobe with one fingertip.
     "Word has it that Dr Bashir is on Bajor hunting out that
door repairman, so, since it's two hours after lunch, I'd say
you're bursting for conversation; hence your uncharacteristic
foray into my establishment.  Now, I'm not saying who or what
told me this, but certain clandestine transmissions which
normally tie up most of the secret broadcast bands around this
hour have not taken place today, so somebody on the station must
be feeling the weight of time on his hands.  Plus the delays in
the Door Repair Guy trial mean that all the dress uniforms are
already altered and delivered.  In a nutshell, it's a slow day. 
And there's nothing for a slow day like a Normelian daiquiri."
     He places one on the bar.
     Garak beams at it, then stands and heads for the door.  
     "We really must do this more often!"
     Quark disposes of the drink and wipes the counter.
     "Drop by any time.  I need all the residuals I can get."


[Commercial: "5 out of 9 Supreme Court Justices smoke DuMaurier"]


     Shot of Dax and Bashir emerging from the trees at the edge
of a farmstead.
     Bashir: "I told you we'd get lost."
     Dax (ignoring him): "I'm reading two humanoids, one of them
cybernetically altered, in that house."
     Bashir: "Let's go."
     They holster their tricorders and cross the furrowed field
with phasers drawn.  They reach the door.
     Dax: "Shapeshifter arrest protocol."
     Bashir: "What's that?"
     "Just stun everything in the room."
     "Okay."
     They jettison their umbrellas.
     "One, two, three."
     They burst through the door.  Two people sit up in bed, a
Bajoran woman and a male Cauda Linean Borg.
     Bashir: "Who are you?"
     Woman: "We live here.  Who are you?"
     Borg: "I know you.  You're from the space station.  They're
from the space station.  What is the meaning of this?"
     Bashir (with false bravado): "We'll ask the questions, thank
you very much.  What are you doing here?"
     "We work at the surgical implant factory.  It's just over
the hill."
     "Well!"
     Dr Bashir can't think of a follow-up question.  He shuffles
his feet and looks at the various corners of the room.  Dax jerks
her head toward the door.
     Bashir: "Ah.  This is rather embarrassing, really.  A slight
case of mistaken identity, I'm afraid.  Please excuse us."
     They leave, closing the door behind them.  They stand
outside the farmhouse, look in both directions, pick up their
umbrellas, and start off across the field.  


     Shot of the Defiant pulling up to the Cuyahoga in orbit.
     A ravine.  A swollen river surges along the bottom.  Partway
up the slope two figures materialize.
     Sisko: "We'll have to climb this slope before we can get a
tricorder reading.  Did you bring the equipment, Mr Eddington?"
     Eddington holds up the shackle at one end of the length of
chain looped across his shoulder.
     Sisko: "What a perfect evening for it.  Nothing like a cool
rain to clear the mind and invigorate the limbs."
     He clambers up the slope.  Eddington smiles weakly, glances
down nervously at the chain and struggles up the hill after him.


[Bob:
     Bob's on the couch with CHEZ 106 Gal.  She's holding up the
CHEZ 106 bumper sticker.
     "So we'll be back after Door Repair Guy with the winning
license plate number.  There's more DRG right after this."
     Cut to parking lot security camera.  We see Bob lurk across
the lot and apply the bumper sticker to a car already plastered
with them.  He looks around and sneaks back toward the studio.]


[Commercial: "Stay young.  Have fun.  Smoke Players Light."]


     Camera closes in on matte painting of the rainswept Bajoran
village with its temple.  Cut to the interior of the crowded
temple.  Most of the district seems to have turned out.  We see
Bajoran farmfolk standing in groups or seated on stacking chairs.
Some are listening to the speaker, others taking the opportunity
to do business.  Quite a few are wearing green garbage bags.  A
sign on the back wall says: "BINGO: This week's cumultative grand
prize [147] strips of g.p.latimum."  Shot of a mother holding a
baby.  The baby is playing with an old hinge.
     DRG: ". . . so, like, the point of Law 51 is that if you
hang a door on the diagonal you've got to come up with a pretty
good system of counterweights or a hydrolic system or something
or else make it stiff enough to stay put; otherwise you're going
to have it slamming all the time.  So 'Balance equals strength.'
     Voice from audience: "What you're telling us, in the wider
sense, is that as long as the Bajorans maintain their sense of
identity they can be as strong as the Federation or the
Dominion."
     Second Vedek: "That's absolutely right."
     DRG: "Though it also could mean that you might try hanging
your doors on the perpendicular."
     Grunt of assent from the audience. 
     Blacksmith: "He's quite a speaker."
     Farmer: "Very motivational."
     Outside in the dark, Sisko briefs his staff.
     "All right.   Do we have a functioning commbadge?"
     Dax and Bashir put up their hands.
     "Dax.  Contact the Defiant's onboard computer and instruct
it to get a transporter lock on the door repairman.  On my signal
I want him beamed from the temple to these co-ordinates.  Once
we've secured the prisoner, we'll beam up using the two commbadge
signals.  Major, I want you and Chief O'Brien in that hall.  Take
Dr Bashir's commbadge.  Stay incognito.  I want a couple of pairs
of eyes in there for when this all comes to trial."
     The temple.  We see Kira and O'Brien slip in the back.
     Kira (whispering): "There he is, dressed like a Vedek."
     O'Brien: "What's he saying?  My ears are blocked up."
     Kira: "Something about interdimensionality.  Damn, he's
spilling the beans about the interdimensional gateway!"  (In a
louder whisper.)  "Kira to Defiant.  He's on the dias!  Go for
it!"
     A farmer turns to see who's speaking.
     "Shush, neighbour."
     O'Brien: "Haa-CHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
     Everyone turns and stares at the back of the hall, thereby
missing DRG's disappearance.
     "Hey, everybody, it's the Federation!  They're working for
Kai Winn!"
     Tumult.  Mallets appear all over the room.  The shapeshifter
steps off the dias and melts into the crowd.  (Literally.)
     DRG materializes between Sisko and Eddington.
     "Boy, am I glad to see you guys.  You wouldn't believe
what's going on."   
     Sisko: "Doctor!"
     Bashir cuts short DRG's next sentence with a hypospray to
the neck.
     Cut to the Defiant.  Dax, Dr Bashir, Sisko, Eddington and
the comatose DRG materialize.  Dax steps to the transporter
controls and runs her fingers around on them.
     "Kira and O'Brien have left the designated area.  Getting a
new lock."
     Kira and O'Brien materialize in running postures.
     Kira: "Whew."
     O'Brien: "Combuder.  Kleenex.  Fambily size.  Trible bly."


[Commercial:
     We're being grinned at by Grand Nagus Zek.  He holds up an
electric toothbrush-like tool.
     "Last week my toadies brought me the Remington Aural
Stimulator, and I liked it so much I bought the company!  Now you
too can own this amazing ear-care appliance!  It goes from zero
to three hundred and fifty million revolutions per minute in one
second, and comes with three interchangeable heads!  The patented
nanoscreen technology ensures that even the most sensitive skin
receives only the most pleasureable sensations!  And it's
guaranteed!  If you don't like it, simply return it and I'll
refund your earwax!  The Remington Aural Stimulator, only from 
R-r-r-emington!"]


     A docking bay on DS9.  We see the airlock roll open and four
heavily armed security guards rush out and take up position.
Benjamin Sisko steps out, then gives the signal.  Two more burly
security guards emerge carrying Door Repair Guy by the armpits. 
DRG is wrapped and crisscrossed with chains.  DRG has that "I've
really done it this time" look on his face.  Eddington follows,
looking unhappy.
     Sisko: "Mr Eddington, this man is in your charge.  I want
two guards in physical contact with him at all times, day and
night.  The trial begins next Monday, and if he's not here for it
it's your head."
     Eddington: "Commander . . . I think we may be exceeding our
authority here . . . just a little bit."
     "Put it in your report!  This man has abilities far beyond
those of ordinary delinquents."
     Quark approaches.
     "Who ordered this plate of heart of targ with fries?"
     DRG: "That was me."
     Sisko: "Take him away!"
     The security contingent bundle DRG away.  They pass Kai Winn
at the front end of a procession of Vedeks.
     Kai Winn: "Halt!"
     Both groups freeze.  She reaches between the security guards
and grabs DRG by the ear.
     DRG: "YEEEOOOWWWW!"
     The guards, scandalized, hurry him away.
     A Vedek: "Kai, what did you learn of his pagh?"
     "Nothing.  I just wanted to pull his ear.  Emissary, I'm so
pleased that the Federation has come to its senses and decided to
lock away that heretic."
     "His escapade on Bajor is the least of my worries.  I have
the Judge Advocate General himself docking in three hours, and if
that prisoner goes missing again there's going to be space
station debris threatening shipping in this system for decades to
come."
     "It's good to see where the priorites of the Federation lie. 
How glad I am that the affairs of Bajor are in the hands of good
and loyal Bajorans."
     Kira (emerging from airlock): "Radio Bajor says Topu Sar
district just declared independence from the Provisional
Government."
     Kai Winn: "I see there is a pressing need for spiritual
guidance in the capital.  It is fortunate my shuttle is in the
next docking bay.  I will take my leave."
     "There's one more thing."
     They turn to see Odo approaching.
     "There's the small matter of the poisoning of the Cardassian
assistant underquartermaster Borot, Kai Winn.  We have a personal
log entry recorded by Borot just prior to his death.  In it he
accuses another Cardassian, one Chef Nufrek, of poisoning him
with yamok sauce.  Replicator transcripts and the autopsy report
confirm his suspicions.  Both Borot and Nufrek were involved in
illicitly bringing an Orb onto the station, the same Orb later
discovered by our sainted door repairman in a service conduit and
subsequently moved to the mother house of your religious order,
Kai Winn.  Both Borot and Nufrek were working at the behest of
Kai Opaka, but somebody turned Nufrek against his associate with
the help of a substantial bribe.  Nufrek poisoned Borot and hid
the body in a part of the station designed to resist sensor
probes.  We now know who paid Nufrek.  We have a fingerprint. 
It's yours, Kai Winn."
     All eye turn to Kai Winn.  But she maintains her control,
though with difficulty.
     "And what is it you accuse me of, shapeshifter?  Protecting
the Orb from the grasping hands of the Cardassians, or of leading
one Cardassian enemy to turn against another?  Either is cause
for praise.  The people of Bajor will see them both as the Will
of the Prophets."
     "Very true.  I merely had one question."
     "And what would that be?"
     "When were you planning on telling them?"
     She makes a fierce face at him and stomps away, followed by
the Vedeks.
     Kira: "What a role model."
     Winn (distantly): "I heard that, Kira Nerys!"
     Dax and Dr Bashir emerge from the airlock supporting a
wobbly Chief O'Brien.
     Sisko: "Chief!  Doctor, what's wrong with him?"
     Bashir: "He just suddenly got pale and keeled over.  We're
taking him to the Infirmary."
     Dax: "It must have something to do with that soaking he got
on the planet."
     O'Brien: "Muriel!  Muriel!"
     Keiko: "Muriel?  Who's Muriel?"
     Everyone turns in surprise.
     Sisko: "Mrs O'Brien!"
     Bashir: "Don't listen to him.  He's delirious."
     Keiko: "He'd better be."
     Dr Bashir, Dax, O'Brien and Keiko hurry off toward the
Infirmary.  Sisko and Kira head for Ops.
     Sisko: "Major.  Who's piloting back the runabout?"
     KIra: "The Cuyahoga!"
     That leaves Odo and Quark.
     Quark: "Targ with fries?"
     Odo: "Hmmph!"  
     He stalks off.
     Quark (hoisting the plate onto his shoulder): "Targ with
fries!  Get your targ with fries!"


[Commercial: McCain Home Fries and Targ]


     Admiral Bartlett and Captain Bateson of the Bozeman emerge
from the President's office to the anteroom, Captain Bateson
holding the door for Admiral Bartlett.
     Admiral Bartlett: "Now that wasn't so bad, was it?"
     Captain Bateson pulls his cuffs and glances around the room
with his chin in the air.
     "I think I could get used to it.  Charming personality, the
President.  Excellent taste in furniture.  A fine figure of a
woman in every way."
     "In every way?"
     "Oh, Admiral.  You know there's only you for me."
     "Pretty lucky Admiral Nechayev calling up about the capture
like that, right in the middle."
     "Yes.  I must confess to a little trepidation up to that
point.  Do you think the President noticed?"
     "I'm sure she's seen a Starfleet commander pass out before."
     "You know, there's one thing I don't get.  Why would a Trill
have a name like that?"
     "That's politics, my man.  The Parisian bureaucracy has such
a lock on the President's office that their candidate gets
elected more than half the time.  The present incumbent very
wisely decided that if she wanted in that office she'd have to
choose a nom de guerre.  I hear she got it from a popular French
drive-through restaurant chain."
     "Of course!  Why didn't I recognize it before?  Jacqueline
de la Route!"
     "Shall we?"
     She puts her arm in his and they stride across the carpet to
the street below.


[Credits:
     This week instead of the usual starfield at warp speed we
see the credits roll by on top of outtakes from the episode.
     Kira and O'Brien stand in a Bajoran downpour.
     Kira: "Do you like my raincoat?  My bea-u-u-u-tiful
raincoat?"
     O'Brien: "Put a sock in it."
     Kira: "Look.  Pockets."
     Edit.
     O'Brien in the garbage bag, standing under the water cannon.
     (Looking offscreen): "The first one of you lot that laughs
gets this."  He makes a fist.  "You there.  Yeah you.  I'll see
you later.  Yes, I'm talking to you."
     Edit.
     Sisko: "What a perfect evening for it.  Nothing like a cool
rain to clear the mind and invigorate the limbs."
     He clambers up the slope.  Eddington smiles weakly, glances
down nervously at the chain and begins to struggle up the hill
after him, loses his footing, does a faceplant in the mud, and a
slides feet-first into the river while grips slither down into
the shot and Sisko kills himself laughing then notices the camera
still rolling, puts on his commander face, and climbs down to the
water's edge to help.
     Edit.
     Long orbital view of Bajor.  Shot of the runabout Cuyahoga
standing by, navigational lights blinking.]


------------
Written by Douglas McLeod, ai919@freenet.carleton.ca
------------

Episode 41 — Door Repair Kai, Part Two

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